today is a day just like any other
My anxiety has been eating away at me for the past month or so. I find myself frowning instead of smiling, crying instead laughing and I have been sleeping... a lot. The stress of it all is crippling to be quite honest and when you are in this funk that you can't get out of, you think you'll never find your way out of the darkness. Tonight, I've realized, the light will shine if I let it. The more I throw myself a pity party, the more depressed I'll be. I am tired of being sick and tired. On the real, I have been nauseous for weeks, haven't been sleeping, can't keep food down that well and chugging boxed wine isn't helping either. The fact that I haven't done yoga in over 6 months is disappointing and my booty is shrinking because of it, which is even more depressing because I love my butt- ha ha.
Anxiety is so so real but I am just fueling the fire by letting it take over. I have control of my body, not the other way around. I just wanted to chime in and speak my mind a bit tonight, just in case some of my fellow strugglers are having a hard time as well. We are badasses. We are goddesses. We can legit do anything that we want and put our mind to. LOVE yourself, people. Sometimes, it's so hard. Sometimes I look in the mirror and cry and continue to judge myself, my body, my face for hours and it's not okay. Self-love could possibly be one of the most important things we do for ourselves on the daily. I mean, if we don't love ourselves, who will? I know that I am feeling pretty unloved lately and that sickens me. Why? Well, because, I know I have so many people in this life who love me- my sister, my boyfriend, my mother, my friends, my co-workers, and so on and to make them feel unloved because I am not loving myself, is pretty unfair. Anxiety and depression doesn't just effect you but it effects everyone around you. If I am in a shit mood, I will most likely make everyone else in a shit mood. It's a pretty vicious cycle. Again, I'm tired of it.
Tonight, I will smile when I look in the mirror, I will chant only positive thoughts, I will hug myself, I will stretch my body and take deep breaths, and I will keep changing what I can. If nothing changes, nothing changes, my friends. I am ready for a fucking change and the only way that is going to happen is by getting off my, now tiny ass, and doing something about it.
I apologize in advance for how boring this rant may be to you, but I needed it. I needed to write because when I feel like I can't express my feelings to the people I love, I use pencil and paper, well, in this case, a keyboard. I have so much love for everyone who reads these silly things and I have so much love for the people who are going through something similar. It is a hard life out there peeps but it's also a beautiful one if we just let it be.
I will vow to not think of my past unless I am thinking about all the lessons it has taught me and how strong of a bad bitch I am now because of it. I will not think of my future because I actually have no fucking clue what it will bring to the table or if I will even have one. I vow to be present. I vow to love myself. I vow to love others unconditionally, especially those souls who love mine so much. I vow to still be my independent self but also let people in a little bit more. I vow to be better. What do you vow, pretty little things? I hope it's something magical. Alright, enough is enough. I will let you go off and do wonderful things, now. Much love to all my people. Stay strong, folks.
Anxiety is so so real but I am just fueling the fire by letting it take over. I have control of my body, not the other way around. I just wanted to chime in and speak my mind a bit tonight, just in case some of my fellow strugglers are having a hard time as well. We are badasses. We are goddesses. We can legit do anything that we want and put our mind to. LOVE yourself, people. Sometimes, it's so hard. Sometimes I look in the mirror and cry and continue to judge myself, my body, my face for hours and it's not okay. Self-love could possibly be one of the most important things we do for ourselves on the daily. I mean, if we don't love ourselves, who will? I know that I am feeling pretty unloved lately and that sickens me. Why? Well, because, I know I have so many people in this life who love me- my sister, my boyfriend, my mother, my friends, my co-workers, and so on and to make them feel unloved because I am not loving myself, is pretty unfair. Anxiety and depression doesn't just effect you but it effects everyone around you. If I am in a shit mood, I will most likely make everyone else in a shit mood. It's a pretty vicious cycle. Again, I'm tired of it.
Tonight, I will smile when I look in the mirror, I will chant only positive thoughts, I will hug myself, I will stretch my body and take deep breaths, and I will keep changing what I can. If nothing changes, nothing changes, my friends. I am ready for a fucking change and the only way that is going to happen is by getting off my, now tiny ass, and doing something about it.
I apologize in advance for how boring this rant may be to you, but I needed it. I needed to write because when I feel like I can't express my feelings to the people I love, I use pencil and paper, well, in this case, a keyboard. I have so much love for everyone who reads these silly things and I have so much love for the people who are going through something similar. It is a hard life out there peeps but it's also a beautiful one if we just let it be.
I will vow to not think of my past unless I am thinking about all the lessons it has taught me and how strong of a bad bitch I am now because of it. I will not think of my future because I actually have no fucking clue what it will bring to the table or if I will even have one. I vow to be present. I vow to love myself. I vow to love others unconditionally, especially those souls who love mine so much. I vow to still be my independent self but also let people in a little bit more. I vow to be better. What do you vow, pretty little things? I hope it's something magical. Alright, enough is enough. I will let you go off and do wonderful things, now. Much love to all my people. Stay strong, folks.
Comments
Post a Comment